Blog: (Kaus)

This morning i woke up feeling pretty good but i decided to sleep one more hour after i woke up, w/o realizing it it was already 1:30, i felt pretty sluggish after noticing the time, i skipped out on breakfast because there was pretty much nothing to eat. so far today has been going the same old, nothing too special, although tomorrow is my birthday, ill be 20 come midnight tonight, or actually midnight in cali since i was born in cali. still regardless if its my birthday or not i feel that its just going to be another plain day nothing new, nothing different.

2 days after my birthday and 5 days closer to christmas, im feeling great that its coming close to christmas, it always makes me feel at ease, so far anything else hasnt really made too much of a change. other then the fact im now 20 and 2 days old

It has been pretty quiet as of late, since my friend has gone to oregan for the rest of his winter break i havnt had the tim eto really go anywhere so ive been stuck at home, unfortunately for me, not many ppl seem to be online all to much atm ,so im just passing by the time, doing some drawings, playing games ect ect. but all in all, the days lately havnt been all too bad, im used to situations such as this anyways.

in todays log entry, i admit to my soft spot for some cute stuff, however i dont go all bent out of shape, i still keep my same face, but i just like some cute things once in a while, i geuss playing little big planet help me realize this myself, as the game is very cute yet humorous at the same time, plus i tend to draw some cute stuff, all in all its not a bad thing i suppose, other then that today has been pretty entertaining, nothing much going on today either, friends are still out of town. by the time they get back it will be time for them to reassume school, today i kept on thinking on something in the passed that was constantly bothering me, when i was about 9 years old, i was seperated from my whole family, brother father, grandmother, and my uncle and aunt (though my aunt can burn in hell for all i care, it may seem like a bad thing to say, but, You would also show no sympathy from this evil winged horned bitch from satans hell.) it was a really tough time for me, i had to live with my so called "Step Mother" who was really mean to me, BUT she was only doing it to bring me up right, in the end it worked, but i will never forget how cruel she was. also every weekend i had to go to my step moms ex husband he was pretty awesome, but still being seperated rom your family even for a month is hard, yet i had to go through this for roughly 2-3 years, idk how i survived it, but i managed, all these bad memories just came flowing back fro some reason, i just wanted to cry when i remember some of the worst things that arnt even mentioned in here, but i just cant cry, i cant let my weakness overcome me, i need to put this all behind me and make them memories, it wont be easy but i know that i can do so. rena always tells me that i should always look on the bright side of things, and her advice has helped me alot, fen has always tried to cheer e up at times, even though sometimes he can be annoying w/o realizing it, and when i get mad at him, i dont even know the real reason, but i would never hate him. but thanks to my many friends i made that support me through life i manage to stay happy in my daily routines. Especially to the efforts of Rena and Fen. Ive known ren for a long time and i love her, she makes me happy just talking to her. and fen, i may not have known him for a long time, but hes an awesome guy, despite him being annoying sometimes, hes always acting the clown for the sake of humor, which i should take more humorously then being stuck up, i geuss i felt like typing this long passage to let my emoptions run free and get things off my chest, its easier to share some things rather then keep them bottled up all the time. anyways end of Log-
-i'll share more as i'm ready-